Taleboblen

Second round... Bring it!

2012-01-11T21:16:00.001+01:00

Second time at the gym this year.. Getting back in the groove... The reception girl just reminded me that I have been a member for five years now.. Dang I thought I would be bigger by now...... :p

Back in shape!

2012-01-09T21:45:00.001+01:00

I love to hate the gym. Thats it! 2012 is the back in shape year.....

New year resolution

2012-01-02T23:51:00.001+01:00

1. Get in shape before the big three oh!
2.new apartment before the big three oh!
4. Realise that the big three oh is coming....

Happy holidays!

2011-12-23T15:58:00.001+01:00

Happy holidays to you all..... Love peace and LEGO.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

2011-12-15T23:04:00.002+01:00

well what was it?

one year of no tv is on!

2011-11-04T10:34:00.001+01:00

Yep you read it right.... Im have almost been without tv for 1 year now! all in the process of purifying my life from unnecessary evil :P. It is working out just fine, I realized how much crap the tv contains and what i am polluting my mind with. Reality Tv and what not. I will rather live in my own reality than watch another wannabe celebrity's reality on TV. Bah!

So what do i use all the spare time that i know have on my hands? hmmm life, work, girlfriend, toys, gadgets, LEGO, etc. (Not necessarily in that particular order :) )

My girlfriend would probably say that i spend too much time on work and gadgets, and maybe she is right! The apartment is starting to look like a LEGO store with all these boxes lying around. But i love it! Can't stop, Won't stop! :P

LEGO is rocking my life!

2011-11-02T21:30:00.001+01:00

Spend the day building LEGO models.... They payed me to do it... I swear! :p

New job new life!

2011-10-25T13:52:00.002+02:00

Life is good!

Sooo i started a new job at a small company, you might have heard of it! the LEGO Group!

its awesome, I work as a Designer developing future concepts for LEGO toys and it is awesome..

Just wanted to share that :p

Facebook status so far.

2011-03-11T00:29:00.001+01:00

So, my "no Facebook" lifestyle has been going on for a while now... Do I miss it? Not really... Am I missing out? A big NO on that one. I'm out of the social fishing game for Good... you should do the same. Come join the dark side ;

Videos just for You!

2011-02-18T15:33:00.002+01:00

Yes my YouTube channels is alive again. Though still with no content. But its alive after a longer time of me being banned by Google. You make one video with some questionable advice and they deem your content inappropriate.... :( oh well I will be uploading some new Videos soon, I haven't chosen the type of content yet but I am thinking of creative content performed by me.... stay tuned (goes out to the one follower i have, you know who you are ;) )

Facebook cold turkey!

2011-02-04T16:49:00.001+01:00

Its now Been 2 monthly since i decided to stop using Facebook. And guess What it has been easier than I expected.

I have been an avid Facebook user since 2007 posting every day and checking the site almost every hour.

Leaving Facebook was a Good decision. I feel free, less annoyed and less likely to write or post something that I would regret in the future......

If you are considering leaving the shackles called Facebook then do it. Freedom taste so sweet ;)

Blogger app finally here

2011-02-04T14:05:00.001+01:00

It took Only 3 years for Google to make this app for Android... :)
Get it now on market!

Anybody outthere?

2010-11-10T13:54:00.000+01:00

Helloooooooo?!

Sony Playstation 4?

2010-07-24T00:37:00.006+02:00

Is this the Sony Playstion 4?

or just the Denver Mp4 tv tuner?

follow the link to find out ;)

PS4

Awesome low tech Mario!

2010-03-12T19:58:00.000+01:00

Super Mario Bros on an 8x8 LED matrix from Chloe Fan on Vimeo.

Still Alive

2010-03-08T16:50:00.002+01:00

Hi whomever is reading this.. Im still alive and kicking, just been busy with life and stuff. Im considering doing some sort of Vlogging or maybe just changing the way im Blogging to make it easier for me to Blog/vlog more often. Maybe also to create more unique stuff instead of copying others...

Taleboblen

Once upon a time, there was a small browser called FireFox

2009-11-09T21:50:00.003+01:00

Happy Birthday Firefox

The urge for new gadgets!

2009-11-05T17:19:00.003+01:00

Every now and then i get the urge, i usually subdue it by some INTERNET surfing, but its not always that easy. I'm talking of acquiring new gadgets of course. But how does the decision making of the gadget freak work? well this flowchart could answer that.

The evolution of Nintendo!

2009-09-13T00:48:00.003+02:00

Playstation 3 Slim

2009-08-18T20:43:00.005+02:00

The slim will come with a 120GB drive, and will be 32% smaller and 36% lighter than the standard PlayStation 3, as well as using 34% less power. The $300 price will apply to all PlayStation 3s starting tomorrow. The Slim will be available everywhere by the first week of September.

Here are some more details. The 80GB PS3 (current model) will be discounted to $300, whereas the 160GB PS3 will be $400. There will be a new PS3 logo as well as modifications to the official name from PLAYSTATION 3 to PlayStation 3 as to not be shouting all the time.

It'll also have a BRAVIA Sync feature that'll allow you to control the PS3's XMB with your Sony TV remote as long as they're connected via HDMI. And the TV will automatically turn off the PS3 when the TV goes off.

There's also a vertical stand retailing for $24 on September 3. Whether or not you can stand it up vertically for long periods of time without the stand is unknown. Sony also says that they're eliminating the feature of installing other operating systems on the Slim, so no more Linux.

Oh, and there will only be two USB ports.

Spec sheet:

Product name: PlayStation 3
Product code: CECH-2000A (Charcoal Black)
CPU: Cell Broadband Engine™
GPU: RSX
Audio output: LPCM 7.1ch, Dolby Digital, Dolby Digital Plus, Dolby TrueHD, DTS, DTS-HD, AAC.
Memory: 256MB XDR Main RAM, 256MB GDDR3 VRAM
Hard disk: 120GB 2.5" Serial ATA
USB 2.0 ports: 2
Networking: Ethernet (10BASE-T, 100BASE-TX, 1000BASE-T), IEEE 802.11 b/g, Bluetooth 2.0 (+EDR)
Controller: Wireless Controller (Bluetooth) x 1
AV outputs: HDMI x 1, AV MULTI OUT x 1, Digital out (optical) x 1
Resolutions: 1080p, 1080i, 720p, 480p, 480i (for PAL 576p, 576i)
BD / DVD / CD drive (read only): BD × 2 (BD-ROM), DVD × 8 (DVD-ROM), CD × 24 (CD-ROM)
Power: AC 220 – 240, 50/60Hz
Power consumption: Approx. 250W
External dimensions (excluding maximum projecting part): Approx. 290 × 65 × 290 mm (width × height × length)
Mass: Approx. 3.2kg
Included in box: PlayStation 3 system × 1, Wireless Controller (DUALSHOCK 3) × 1, AC power cord × 1, AV cable × 1, USB cable × 1

Brüno - 2009 trailer

2009-05-18T20:25:00.002+02:00

Leveret af Filmtrailer.com

Are you Freakin' kidding me?

2009-04-19T12:28:00.005+02:00

Photographer Marco Sitzia rocks the Canon EOS-1Ds Mark III with a monstrous Sigma 200-500mm f/2.8 EX DG lens. For reference, the Sigma weighs about 35 pounds/ 15.87 kilos !!!

Dilbert really gets me!

2009-03-10T18:14:00.002+01:00

Siftables Intelligent Blocks Look Like the Future of Interactive UI Design For Kids

2009-02-21T01:55:00.002+01:00

News from MWC.

2009-02-17T19:33:00.004+01:00

Here are some of the hottest news from the mobile world 2009...

ICON at it again

2009-02-16T22:07:00.002+01:00

as seen on danish tv
http://www.tv2regionerne.dk/reg2005/video.aspx?Id=469615

We are not alone!

2009-02-11T22:24:00.003+01:00

When i saw this i was truly amazed. how can something so small create something this big? all i could think afterwards was, where i left my magnifying glass...

NXT - Robot Battle League

2009-02-06T21:25:00.006+01:00

So ive been playing on and off with my NXT set, and i thought to myself, why not throw a couple of these babies in a Sumo ring and let them battle it out? Thats why i started the NXT Robot Battle League (RBL). So if you like Robots, meaningless mechanical carnage, and last but not least LEGO's, then join my NXT RBL group on Facebook.

Come and Challenge kill80t 1

Kill8ot 1 spec.
- Target Distance Scanner
- Front mounted weapon
- Surface scanner
- Audio command microphone
- Backing bumper sensor
- "Turn on a Dime" mounted wheelbase
- 100% kick ass...

Heineken - Walk in closet

2009-01-16T20:51:00.003+01:00

I want One! (I'm talking about the one with beers in it!)

JBL spot

2009-01-15T21:37:00.004+01:00

Here is a small teaser of the next thing that im gonna play with. The sleek and sexy JBL spot speakers, small in size big in sound. (hmm just like me, go figure) .

Palm Pre Video walkthrough

2009-01-14T11:24:00.007+01:00

Hardware and Spec

Synergi and Messaging

Universal Search and Web

Web OS and UI

Asian John Lennon!

2009-01-06T22:03:00.004+01:00

Ok i know this is the second Korean singing clip, but rest asure i have no grudge against Koreans. Enjoy

Asian Mariah Carey!

2009-01-04T21:18:00.002+01:00

No words can explain what you are about the see.. just sit back relax and enjoy, but dont relax to much, you might soil yourself....

ICON from KOMPAN

2008-12-10T15:00:00.008+01:00

So guys this is what have been holding me busy! And i am proud to present a new category in play, the interactive play equipment from KOMPAN A/S. As you can see on the above picture, ICON has already been preapproved by the Pitt and Jolie family.

A lot of work has been put into these products. Check out the site at ICON.

BR

Minh Thanh Nguyen
Interaction & Game Design Engineer
KOMPAN A/S

Christmas in Odense

2008-12-08T10:04:00.003+01:00

here are a couple of shots showing christmas time in Odense. Taken with my Canon 450D.

Big things are coming!

2008-12-01T22:45:00.003+01:00

Stay tuned for more stuff on taleboblen.blogspot.com sooon!!!

The Simpsons take on Apple!

2008-12-01T15:22:00.002+01:00

Watch and Enjoy!

White HTC Touch Diamond spotted in Denmark!

2008-12-01T15:05:00.003+01:00

So in earlier post's i mentioned the Diamond going apple, and now it seems that the white one in the lineup has reached Denmark. I like!

Long time no see!

2008-12-01T14:56:00.003+01:00

Yes it has been a long time since last, and yes i missed you to! I've just been really busy with work and what not. But i promise to come back soon... meanwhile enjoy the latest trend! cooking with poooh! (No it is not photoshopped)

Can you resist the cuteness factor?

2008-10-20T11:11:00.003+02:00

Can't resist the cuteness, its like kryptonite...

Fallout 3 leaked almost 3 weeks before official release!

2008-10-13T22:03:00.004+02:00

If you know anything about whats going on in the dark corners of the Internet. You have probably heard/seen a downloadable version of Fallout 3. It is said to be a retail versions but speculations say that it is probably a review version, accidentally dropped onto the net.

(and yes i photoshopped that baby all by myself!)

HTC goes Apple!

2008-10-08T22:20:00.004+02:00

As you probably have heard or read, there is a rumour that HTC is launching the Diamond in 7 new colors. That might make me reconsider my decision not to own the Diamond after my not så good first impressions in earlier posts. well if the rumour is true what color would you go for? I think i would go for the whitey one!

UPDATE, apperently the HTC colorado will only be available in France....

The New HTC Touch HD

2008-09-18T19:15:00.000+02:00

Yet another unboxing vid!! and not so good first impression!

2008-08-18T19:41:00.001+02:00

so thats the unboxing. But I must say that after I turned the diamond on the shine suddently disapeared. First of all, while charging, the phone became dangerously Warm. another thing is that it seems that HTC is using a cheaper lcd components in the recent Diamonds. I've tested three phones from a batch received last week (I am in Denmark) and all of them had a weird yellowish tint on the bottom of the display and around the edge. The screen also made a wavy pattern when pressed upon, like pebbles thrown in water.... really disappointing. Tempered glass my a**, the screen was surely plastic..... (no pun intended on the rhyming.)

and it seems that I am not the first to notice this...
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=411487

The new psp Touch!

2008-07-29T17:50:00.000+02:00

HTC Victor! a winner in my eyes!

2008-07-19T15:58:00.000+02:00

Ok so here it is, the ever so popular HTC DIOMAND non identical twin, the HTC Victor (P3702).

Same specs as the HTC Diamond, different cover. I must say that this one the way how the diamond should have looked like from the start.....

so apperently the Victor is only available in Taiwan? or wait..... T-mobile is selling the Victor and has now for a while now as the MDA Compact IV.... only problem, no touch flo 3D... :(

T-Mobile

source

The real MILF hunters!

2008-05-28T21:13:00.001+02:00

THis is Safe for Work
Apparently Real Moms Aren't Like the Ones on MILFhunter.com -- powered by Cracked.com

Pork and Beans

2008-05-28T16:19:00.000+02:00

Iphone 3g in the Nordic and Baltic markets!

2008-05-27T10:10:00.000+02:00

Ok ok, we hear iPhone now official for Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia "later this year" thanks to a deal between Apple and TeliaSonera. At this point, only The Netherlands seems to be out of the loop in Europe.

source

The fabulous life of Iron Man

2008-05-06T19:46:00.000+02:00

Iron Man - The Fabulous Life of Tony Stark

I want one!

2008-05-04T19:24:00.000+02:00

I want one, unfortunately the Pleo is available everywhere else but in Denmark :S, so got to order one online.... damn, Oh well its gonna be worth the wait.

9 Devices That Are Clearly Compensating for a Small Penis

2008-05-04T16:00:00.000+02:00

There is a primal need to have the biggest dick--no other reason for monster trucks exists. But there are those who misuse modern technology because they don't have a large penis, or even one they can find without bright lights and a terribly misapplied telescopic camera. Behold: Nine examples of manly overcompensation that makes the WWE look like a rational pastime:

#9.

World's Longest limousine

The longest limousine in the world is a true testament to making things bigger than everyone else, and if that means utterly destroying the original function then by God, we'll do it because this is America, son, and your Commie notions of "efficiency" and "not pissing resources down the vast hole of ego" won't fly here. Over 30 meters long with 12 sets of wheels, this abortion of internal combustion has one function only--to make its owner feel like a real man:

As you can see, it has its work cut out. There is not a single element of this picture that is not tragically failed overcompensation. Even the panther looks embarrassed to be near him, and that's a fucking cat wearing a necklace.

If Limo Bob was spending any more on compensation, he'd be Paul McCartney. The limo claims to have a helipad and a swimming pool (complete with diving board), but considering that the only person to land a helicopter on a moving car was Howlin' Mad Murdock (retired) and that the car is still only the width of a regularly-stupid limo, what you really have is a square of roof and a bath that someone's nailed a plank over. And most cars have roofs already.

We must admit that technically, this car almost succeeds, in that it will make people say, "Wow, whoever owns that is a huge dick."

#8.

The Jeddah Mile High Tower

Prince al-Walid bin Talal has told the world in no uncertain terms "Mine is bigger than yours." And when the world asked, "Our what?," he replied "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm building a tower a goddamn mile high."

This tower is specifically designed to kick the hell out of the still-in-progress half-mile-tall Burj Dubai tower, a country that has itself pretty much quit its day job to build ridiculous engineering projects full time. We suppose that's what happens when a country has a million men of median age 27, a $37 billion dollar GNP and only 300,000 women.

That's a difficult enough group dynamic for a free love commune, never mind an Islamic nation. The only reason the entire country of Dubai hasn't simply burned down is because they channel their frustrations into things like the largest man-made harbor in the world, the largest indoor ski resort in the world, until they finally said "Fuck it, let's just build a giant cock."

That got the attention of Talal, the Saudi billionaire who knew he couldn't stand idly by. Thus he proposed his $10 billion, mile-high project bringing him one step closer to his dream to make a building that could fuck the moon.

#7.

Smith & Wesson .500 with 8 3/8" barrel

This gun is for men who looked at Dirty Harry and thought, "I need to have a gun bigger than his," completely missing the point that he's not manly because of his gun. He's manly because he is Dirty Goddamn Harry and the only reason he carries a gun at all is because he was suspended last time he beat a crook to death with his giant wang.

The owner lives for the day that some punk tries to mug him and he can unveil their hand cannon, but a total length of 15 inches and weighing 4 pounds, the gun takes slightly longer to draw than the Sistine Chapel. By the time Billy Beergut Redneck gets the thing clear of his crotch ("No, honestly, it's the fastest place to draw from") he'll already have been mugged.

ABOVE: The S&W .500 can be attached to a jockstrap

No, this is strictly for those who spend more time polishing their weapon than using it.

#6.

Jet-Powered Motorcycle

The motorbike is already the ultimate manly vehicle. Clinging desperately to an engine that honestly could not give a shit whether you live or die. It still wasn't quite lethal enough for one man, who built a jet engine into it. Presumably the store was all out of land mines to juggle.

We'll admit: This isn't so much penis extension as amplification, as anyone who can look at an F-16 and think, "I'd like to do that without the safety equipment and much, much closer to the ground," must at least have some balls to begin with. Or at least he did until he wrapped his crotch around a turbine thruster vibrating its way to Mach 1, becoming the founding member of the “Internal Combustion Castration” club.

Jets aren't usually controlled by handlebars because the only place it's safe to set one off is the sky. Attempt to redirect a reaction turbine with a motorbike tire and you'll leave a long streak of burned rubber, a shorter streak of metal-gouged furrow and a single patch of seared flesh that looks kind of like somebody caught on fire and burst while moving at a few hundred miles an hour. Exactly like that, in fact.

#5.

Landkreuzer P 1500 Monster Tank

The Landkreuzer P 1500 Monster Tank was a 1,500 ton tank proposed during the Second World War, and to say that it was the most stupidly vast weapon ever designed would be to miss the chance to say "Makes the Death Star look like a beach ball."

The goal was to put the fear of God, Buddha and every non-visible being from Apollo to Zeus into anybody within 10 miles. Of course, being known as a mono-baller, Hitler had 50 percent more to compensate for than anyone else, an assertion that would be so much cooler if it was actually true. Sure, he might have conquered a quarter of the planet, but how can you prove you have true testicular twins? Launch a blitzkrieg assault on the press offices, jump on a table and whip off your slacks?

Nope, instead you do the sane thing: Propose a tank 30 times bigger than any that could actually be useful, with gun barrels nearly a meter wide. We're assuming the next stage was to stand on top of it, invade a country filled with Amazons and shout "Heil frauliens, get a load of my huge cannon."

The problem with building a tank with parts meant for battle cruisers is that it would be quicker to just drop a submarine on dry land and stick some wheels on it. It damn sure wouldn't be any slower than the P 1500. Any country invaded by a Landkreuzer could pretty much have ignored it, treating it like a slightly slower moving volcano. Sure, the Nazi Doom Cannon is kind of a pain, but if you're anywhere within 20 miles when the thing finally goes off you have no one to blame but yourself.

#4.

International CXT Pickup

After years of failing to score with even the deadest-eyed truck stop waitress, that balding good ol' boy gets to screw every woman on the planet with his new International CXT megatruck! And all the men. And everything else that likes breathing, come to that.

Weighing 6.6 tons (which you might recognize as five sane cars welded together) the CXT is a pickup truck on steroids: freakishly large, hideously ugly, and somewhere amid all that unnecessary bulk is a very small penis.

This is for those who want the manliness of driving a 18 wheeler, without all the qualifications and success normally associated with being a trucker. With a 70 gallon fuel tank and the option for a flame paint job, this vehicle honestly couldn't be a more comical attempt to destroy the environment if Looten Plunder drove it over Captain Planet.

The CXT website allows you do customize your hideousness

The makers say "If you brought this truck to the playground, you'd be king of the dirt pile," roughly translating to "Go on Texan rednecks, pay us for this ridiculous converted dump truck while we call you stupid children to your stupid fat faces."

#3.

Giant Cigar

A solid cigar may be an icon of manliness, but one over five meters long and a foot across isn't just a stogie, that's the goddamn Freud red flag. Expect Psychoanalysis Man to transcend into the room in the Repression-mobile before you're through your first puff.

The Harnosand Cigar Factory rolled this 112 kilogram monster in 1990, hoping to promote their brand in the face of the sissy cigarettes that were seducing the world's cancer-chasers. Alas, it backfired, as people realized either that the makers were idiots prepared to waste 250 pounds of primo tobacco leaves on something no one will ever actually smoke or filled a cigar with sawdust and dog shit and thus couldn't be trusted.

Harnosand Cigars went bust in 1997.

#2.

The Saturn V Rocket

Remember when we said the Jeddah Mile-High Tower was an attempt to "fuck the moon?" Well, if they do they'll find out she ain't a virgin no more, thanks to the USA and the Saturn V rocket.

This was the result of a dick-swinging contest between the two greatest and angriest powers the world has ever seen. Three thousand tons of spacecraft standing over 100 meters tall, the Saturn V was nothing less than a vast space-fucking prosthetic. Three quarters of a million gallons of liquid hydrogen and oxygen, enough to burn everything you have ever even SEEN, carrying our brave boys up to defeat the Evil Red Menace. It could only have been more manly if it was taking John Wayne to punch out moon gorillas.

At first we couldn't understand why anyone involved actually needed it. JFK, you might notice, didn't actually need a penis extension. He was busy banging Marilyn Fucking Monroe while leading the most powerful nation on Earth. If his penis had gotten any bigger he'd have needed an extra secret service agent just to carry it around. The astronauts didn't need any help either: These guys beat everybody else in the US Air Force to get where they were, and since that's an organization trained specifically to blow up everyone else in the world, that's pretty tough competition. They probably had to add extra rockets just account for the combined testicular mass.

But then we realized that it was America that needed it. With the soviet threat rumbling to the east, Kennedy knew there was only one way to restore our national masculinity: by building a gargantuan boner and fucking the moon.

#1.

Actual 11" prosthetic penis extension

Several of the above devices were so utterly penis-extending they defeated their own purpose--from the limo that would have to be dismantled and carried across a town, to the motorbike you can't actually start without exploding, but this takes the cake. Making your own penis look bigger at the expense of actually doing or feelingg anything with it--those are lengths which no sane man will go.

We're not sure what the exact psychological effects of learning that a two dollar lump of molded plastic can satisfy your lady better than you ever could are, but we suspect they're terminal. They're also charging far more than this could cost to make, because no man can haggle over the price of a synthetic replacement for his own penis. "No, honestly, replacing my dick should only cost about $5, tops."

Though when you compare it to the price of, say, a rocket bike, the owner of this thing is getting off easy.

If Banner Ads Were Forced To Be Truthful...

2008-05-03T23:44:00.000+02:00

Aren't banner ads awesome? Go ahead, click on a few over there. We'll wait.

But, unfortunately, a few bad apples have given the industry a bad name by being just a little misleading in their promises that hot singles and easy money are just a click away. What would banner ads look like in a world where they were required to tell the honest truth? We offered a prize to whoever has the Photoshop skills to show us. The winner is below, but first, the runners-up:

by aroundentropy

by Chab Gassie

by iancheesman

by sprouticus

by AdjectiveNoun

by Logical Penguin

by The Hulk

by anansi

by evilkumquat

by Vincent

by Rex Taffel

by mnemosyne23

by mac734

by Itchimpo

by LukeMcKinney

by oball

by wanderingsun

by coop

by inyarear

by blemm

by detroitsmisterx

by Allen

by College Binary

by Mauso

by Sanchez

by Chab Gassie

by StillHonest

by Carbonadam

by Inyarear

And the winner is...

source

WASABI - the red light of dead! FIX!

2008-04-13T21:07:00.000+02:00

Ok guys her is the fix for those of you experiencing the Red Light issue with the Wasabi chip...

as of now there are 2 fixes. one the first one involves af capacitor and the other one is a more simple solution. If the one solution doesnt work the other might.

Thanks to Wiinewz members Moda (overlooked the first time), jmlacroix and Frenik we now finally have a WORKABLE solution (work-around) to the Red Light Reset Quirk we've all come to know and love . The fix involves a capacitor (we've used 47uF but playing around with different values might give you better results) between point K and GND on the Wasabi chip. e.

The Second solution: make the clock wire as loong as possible and route it around the board....
I went for the second solution and it worked fine for me.... ( a lot easier..)

Rumor Control : Toy Story 3

2008-04-07T19:04:00.000+02:00

After attending the the NEXT no. 5: MINDBLOWERS conference in Aarhus Denmark, one of the key speakers Michael B. Johnson who has performed digital midwifery on blockbusters such as Finding Nemo and The Incredibles and runs the Moving Pictures Group at Pixar Animation Studios told the audience that Toy Story 3 is 2 years from completion. yeaay! :)

WASABI - the red light of death!!!!

2008-04-03T18:32:00.001+02:00

The Wasabi boasted of an impressive repertoire of features, but could they live up to it?

At the moment, no. A lot of people who went for the chip are experiencing that it does not work properly.

http://wiinewz.com/forums/wasabi/67148-wasabi-d2c-red-light-reset-quirk.html

I have personally tried to install 2 of these chips and both times I experienced issues with the drive of the Wii not starting the first time, and the light of the chip staying red, until you reset the Wii a couple of times which is very annoying.
Resetting the chip by connecting the ground wire with the K wire seems to help the chip start. But that is in my opinion a crappy solution because, you need to connect a switch and route it from the drive board and out of the Wii casing so you can access it when you need to.

as of now the Wasabi team has not addressed the problem and time will tell if they ever will and/or there ever will be a solution or not. I fear that the problem not can be resolved with an firmware upgrade but lies within the Wasabi Hardware.

:(

UPDATE ! : follow link to see how to fix wasabi error FIX

Wasabi Wii mod ordered - soon ready to go

2008-03-25T19:09:00.001+01:00

I finally ordered the WASABI mod, soon a review of functions and installation will follow.

I ordered the chip from discoazul.co.uk, they have a very good price compared to the other shops..

STay tuned :)

WASABI - mod the hell out of your Wii!

2008-03-17T08:57:00.000+01:00

Wasabi is not your typical Wii drivechip. Apart from all the usual features you'd expect from any good chip (including a working built-in GC audiofix), it sets new standards on many points:

It's the first chip that works on all drives, from DMS to latest D2C drives (including GC2-D1A).

It's the first D2C compatible chip that is upgradable from DVD.

It's the easiest chip to install on D2C: only 9 wires, only 3 of them connected to a pin/via.

It's the easiest chip to install on DMS and D2B as well: No need to use a dremel or super-glue with "cut-pin" drives, and there's no pin/via to solder even with the latest D2B boards.

It's the first D2C compatible chip that is as clean as DMS/D2B drivechips: full control over the drive's firmware, no physical patching on the lines while the games are running. That means perfect stability, more control, and no stress on the drive's components.

Best of all, it's the first chip to include a decent amount of flash memory (128KB) for firmware and data storage.

Did you know that current ISO dumpers are currently missing a few KB of data stored in the barcode (BCA) and lead-in area ? This "extra" data could be read by the console and used to detect chips. SMG and SSBB are the first games to call one of the related drive commands, without interpreting the data yet. We take that as a warning. Thanks to on-board memory, the "extra" data of your whole game collection could be stored on the chip itself if that becomes necessary. The flash memory is also used to store the drivecode and could store patches and Wii/GC binaries in the future.

The first batch of wasabi will be shipped to retailers on the second week of March. Have a look at our product page for more info!

Technical Specifications

Direct boot of Wii and Gamecube original, import, and backup discs

Supports all chipset versions: DMS, D2A, D2B and D2C (including D1A)

Supports all regions, configurable via jumpers

Fully upgradable from DVD (no external programmer required)

Only 5 wires on DMS, D2A, D2B

Only 9 wires on D2C (only 3 of them soldered to pin/via)

Very easy installation on "cut-pin" drives

On-board flash (128KB)

Integrated Audiostreaming fix for GC games

Excellent media compatibility (supports DL media)

Works with SMG and SSBB

Flash recovery mode

Two LED for easy installation troubleshooting

Full firmware control even on D2C chipset

Drivecode symmetry between all chipset versions

Compatible with all GC and Wii homebrew programs

No extra wires required for region override

No external switch required

source

5 Movie Fighting Styles Too Awesome to Actually Exist

2008-03-07T17:23:00.000+01:00

Every male, at some point in their life, has watched some kung fu badass beat up a room full of bad guys and said, "I want to learn that!"

Unfortunately, some of the martial arts you've fantasized about don't even exist in the real world. Why? Because they're too awesome. For instance:

Gun Kata (Equilibrium)

This incredibly kick-ass way to kick ass with a dumb-ass name (that's three asses!) first appeared in the movie Equilibrium where Christian Bale uses it to kill pretty much everyone. From there it's shown up in way too many, ridiculously awful fan videos, and a few that are surprisingly cool, inspired some genuine martial artists to do their own choreographed performances of the style, and depending on which rabid fanboys you talk to, may or may not have appeared in director Kurt Wimmer's spiritual sequel/suckfest Ultraviolet.

According to the movie:

"Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically-predictable element. The Gun Kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents, while keeping the defender clear of the statistically-traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120 percent."

Allow us to translate:

"Treats the gun as a total weapon." You can shoot people with your gun and pistol whip them with it.
"Maximum kill zone/damage/number of opponents." You shoot a lot of people.
"Keeps the defender clear." Nobody can touch you.
"Rote mastery of this art." It works entirely on the principle of cool poses.

See it in action:
Allow us to repeat that last part: this martial art works by cool poses. Seriously.

But would it actually work?
In the vast majority of cases where people survive gun fights (note the avoidance of the word "win") they do so not by dodging shots but by taking cover. The concept of "statistically-traditional trajectories of return fire" is laughable. That said ...

There are quite a few martial artists out there who've created something like the gun kata, including former ILF fighter M.A. Sotelo's Juu Kun Do. Or check out this actual karate class, where they're learning the technique. It's best not to show up on live ammo day.

Moq'bara (Star Trek)

Moq'bara, from Star Trek, is the martial art practiced by Klingons everywhere, because while a peaceful society like the Federation will have hundreds of styles ranging from kung fu to boxing, a warrior culture will clearly only have one.

Depending on who's doing the fight choreography that day, it may be a pussyfied version of tai chi, an up close, in-your-face slugfest that favors two-fisted rabbit punches above all else, or could simply be boxing by guys with ridges on their foreheads. Alternatively, it may involve batleths--silly looking "swords" that have actually been examined by Kung Fu Magazine and pronounced a viable weapon.

See it in action:
As we'll see, the best way to learn is a strongly-implied erotic tension with a man who looks like he has a fossilized trilobite stuck to his forehead.

But would it actually work?
Pretty good actually. Being too cheap and/or lazy to invent their own martial art, Star Trek seems to have simply hired whatever fight choreographer was available that day and given him free license provided it was gritty, realistic, and pretty boring. Consequently most Star Trek fight scenes, while incredibly dull, use techniques you could learn at any respectable dojo.

If you really want a chance to use those techniques in the real world, simply approach some drunken redneck and tell him you're not afraid of him, since you know the Klingon martial art of Moq'bara.

Blade Song (Dungeons & Dragons)

If you've ever played Dungeons & Dragons (and if you're a Cracked reader, chances are you have a 14th-level Gnomish Wizard rolled up and ready for play) then you probably came to the same conclusion about the problem with elves that we did: not gay enough. Sure they're tall, thin, and gorgeous--their +2 bonus to Dexterity makes them lithe and agile while they're -2 penalty to Constitution makes them delicate. But they just needed that extra little something.

Thus, some D&D writer invented Blade Song, a fighting style to really emphasize how effeminate elves actually are. Since the rest of the game design team was unable to come up with anything gayer (we're stumped too), it passed into canon. In various D&D settings, Blade Song is created by elves, "who have blended art, swordplay and arcane magic into a harmonious whole."

"In battle, a bladesinger's lithe movements and subtle tactics are beautiful, belying their deadly martial efficiency," or so says Dungeons & Dragons: Complete Warrior. The artist would have us believe a Blade Singer looks something like this:

That's a man, by the way.

See it in action:
Note how the first 30 seconds of any bladesong duel involves hard, catty stares.

We would also like to point out that even in an otherwise kick-ass fight scene, the main purpose of the style seems to be giving each other haircuts.

But would it actually work?
The closest real-life equivalent of the elven warrior we could find was Nong Thoom, a male-to-female transgendered muay-Thai champion. In 1998, at the age of 16, she (at the time "he") defeated a larger, more muscular opponent while wearing make up, then proceeded to kiss him. She then proceeded to fuck up pretty much every prospective rival in the league before going on to start a modeling and acting career.

Since gender identity issues can apparently inspire ass-kicking rage, and since most elven warriors make Nong Thoom look like Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster, you'd be wise to observe a strict "don't fuck with elves" policy at your local dojo.

Goutetsu-ryu Ansatsuken (Street Fighter games)

Yes, ansatsuken, which may or may not actually translate to "assassin's fist," is the ultra-violent martial art practiced by Ryu and Ken Masters in the Street Fighter series. Ryu and Ken learned the style from Gouken, who'd sworn to create a less violent version of the martial art created by his master Goutetsu, which in video game parlance means you're simply going to add "for peace" to the end of every cut scene dialog as you continue to remove someone's testicles through their anus.

Of course the most useful technique is the hadoken, which allows the fighter to unleash a deadly ball of energy that flies at the opponent at a speed of about 15 miles an hour.

See it in action:

Wait, that doesn't look right ...

But would it actually work?
It's likely that no amount of practice will allow you to hurl fireballs just by crouching, moving towards someone and then punching the air. Still, if you do run across an opponent who's dressed in a gi (with sleeves that appear to have been ripped off in savage fury), it's probably best to steer clear of them.

Gymkata (Gymkata)

In 1985, Olympic gold medalist Kurt Thomas starred in the movie Gymkata. Gymkata, a movie Maxim ranked as the 17th worst movie of all time, was based on the novel The Terrible Game by Dan Tyler Moore, a novel so bad no one has even bothered to make a Wikipedia entry for it.

In the film Thomas plays John Cabot, an Olympic gymnast who combines gymnastics and martial arts to ... fuck it, let's just go to the clip.

See it in action:

As we see, the gymkata expert is deadly on a pommel horse, or any kind of object in his environment set up exactly like a pommel horse. The true gymkata expert will travel with an entourage of assistants who will have a pommel horse kit ready at all times, in case of conflict.

But would it actually work?
Where do we begin? Let's assume, just for a moment, this art actually existed. We're pretty sure it can be defeated by the simple principle of staying the fuck away from pommel horses, or failing that, avoiding such classic battle tactics as charging one at a time into your opponent's spinning, flying legs.

But what if you're in an enclosed space, and the only way out is being blocked by a pommel horse and a spinning gymkata master? Then you can kiss your ass goodbye, unless you happen to know a little gymkata yourself. And, of course, have your own pommel horse.

The 15 Most Annoying Video Game Characters (From Otherwise Great Games)

2008-02-19T17:05:00.000+01:00

In video games, just like life, there's a certain percentage of people who just need a good punching. The percentage may even be higher in video games, if that's possible.

What makes the offenders on this list even worse is that they reared their ugly heads in what are otherwise some of the best games ever made, making the whole experience just a little worse each time.

#15.

Baby Mario from Yoshi's Island

This is an infant version of everyone's favorite plumber who must be protected by Yoshi (that is, you). If the two of them get separated, may God have mercy on your eardrums.

Why he annoyed us:
Did you know that human beings are biologically programmed to find a baby's crying unpleasant? If you answered 'yes', congratulations, you're smarter than Nintendo.

Every time Baby Mario is separated from Yoshi, he bawls his lungs out, releasing one of the most ear-piercing sound effects in video game history. While the relentless crying does prompt the player to urgently recover Baby Mario, it comes at a great price: their sanity. Thanks to him, the mute button quickly becomes an integral part of this gameplay experience.

#14.

Miles "Tails" Prower from Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Sonic 2 introduces us to Tails, a sidekick who wants to help Sonic save the world. Unfortunately, his ambitions far surpass his abilities.

Why he annoyed us:
On one hand, Tails is a cute, lovable fox. But on the other hand, Tails is good for exactly nothing. Unable to keep up with Sonic's momentum, playing as Tails in the co-op mode is basically a constant struggle to keep the character on-screen.

The computer-controlled version of Tails is no better. Try playing a special stage with Tails as your computer partner and he becomes the digitalized version of every bumbling sidekick in TV sitcom history, crashing into bombs at will. During regular gameplay, when he's not busy dying, Tails has also been known to prematurely activate crumbling platforms and elevators. Worst of all, deep down inside he believes he's helping the entire time, which makes it almost impossible to hate him.

Almost.

#13.

Slippy Toad from Star Fox 64

This toad pilot and mechanical genius is a valued member of the Star Fox team. That is, until he opens his mouth, engages in combat, or pretty much does anything.

Why he annoyed us:
You'd think that a toad flying a jet fighter in space would be nothing short of awesome. You'd be wrong. During every mission, Slippy quickly makes himself the most hated member of the Star Fox team by using his high-pitched voice to shout random, useless advice. During combat, his idea of dogfighting seems to be getting trapped by the enemy and bugging Fox to save him.

We're assured during the game that his mechanical expertise makes him invaluable, which must be the only reason he isn't blown out of the sky by friendly fire five seconds after takeoff.

#12.

Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4

Resident Evil 4 sends you off to rescue Ashley, the president's daughter. Once you find her, keeping her alive becomes a tedious, full-time job for the rest of the game.

Why she annoyed us:
When will game developers learn that no one enjoys protecting the weak and defenseless? Or even worse, controlling them?

Like Resident Evil 2's Sherry Birkin before her, Ashley's special abilities include being difficult, slowing you down, and making the game less fun. It gets to the point that when Ashley gets recaptured, it's like a weight has been lifted. You can go back to slaughtering mutated Spanish villagers unencumbered. The whole second half of the game revolves around saving Ashley from a parasite implanted in her body that would turn her into an inhuman horror. How many of us were hoping the parasite would take over so we would have an excuse to bombard her with incendiary grenades?

#11.

Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty

This tactical espionage agent is pretty much the main character in Metal Gear Solid 2, and is not Solid Snake. Not even close.

Why he annoyed us:
Mainly, because he prevents us from playing as the ultra-cool Snake. Instead, we're "treated" to hours upon hours of controlling the effeminate, whiny Raiden. We've never been employed in the spy business, but according to all the research we didn't do, it's industry policy that girly men like this aren't given jobs.

Raiden's unwelcome presence makes him a constant, persistent eyesore. Let us re-emphasize that Metal Gear Solid 2 is still a great game. But Raiden did something we had previously thought impossible: he took the fun out of sneaking up on people and breaking their necks.

#10.

Natalya from Goldeneye

James Bond must protect this computer programmer who once worked on the deadly GoldenEye satellite that has been hijacked by terrorists. Her expertise was essential in stopping it from attacking London, which means every bad guy in the game is going to try to shoot her while you, as Bond, must throw yourself in front of their bullets.

Why she annoyed us:
"Ok Natalya, here's the deal. I'll kill all the bad guys and complete the mission objectives. All you have to do is not die and under no circumstances should you step in front of me while I'm shooting. If you get the urge to fire your revolver or type on a keyboard with closed-fists, go right ahead. Just don't die. Think you can handle that?"

No she can't. If James Bond is licensed to kill, Natalya must be licensed to die. She, like the aforementioned Ashley Graham, was born with a rare genetic disorder that disables her instinct for self-preservation.

Natalya also reinforces a double-standard. It's ok for her to ruin James Bond's missions by dying unexpectedly, or bitch at him for icing Boris, her scumbag computer programmer friend. But should we suddenly feel the need to turn on her and unload two RCP-90 clips into her skull, it's considered "wrong" and "misogynist" and "pathological".

#9.

John Madden from the Madden Football Series

This former NFL coach and color commentator has been a mainstay on one of the most popular series of video games of all time. Since the mid-90's when technology allowed for voice announcers, John's job has been to provide insight into the game as it's played.

Why he annoyed us:
Just like his real-life counterpart, the virtual John Madden is always prepared to state the obvious. If a defender knocks someone on their ass, Madden will be quick to point out that a big hit was delivered. If a receiver burns the secondary for a touchdown, Madden will cunningly observe that the player is, in fact, quick.

The only difference here is that video game Madden plays Captain Obvious in a much more repetitive manner than he does in real life. For example, one can only listen to Madden calling a nice play "big time football" so many times per game before fantasizing about Solid Snake creeping up behind him and snapping his neck.

Madden barely makes an appearance in the newest edition of the game, so maybe after more than a decade of annoying gamers, somebody at EA finally turned off his microphone and hoped he wouldn't notice.

#8.

Navi from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

In Ocarina of Time, Navi is Link's fairy companion on his quest to save Hyrule. She shows how much she cares for Link by constantly pestering him like a nagging, clingy spouse.

Why she annoyed us:
Anyone who has ever played this game should remember constantly hearing a tiny little voice saying:

"Hey!...Hey!...Listen!...Hey!...Watch out!...Hey!..."

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm trying to have an adventure here. God damn.

#7.

Tingle from Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

This eccentric little man sells you maps, making it easier to find your way through the world. Oh, and he wears a spandex fairy costume.

Why he annoyed us:
Yes, the Zelda series makes its second appearance. Are we being too hard on Nintendo on this list? It's no coincidence; they have a terrible habit of including characters and themes in their games that are cringe-worthy for anyone over the age of 12... yet the same games are also some of the best ever made and impossible to resist for a dedicated gamer. It's a cruel, cruel trap.

As for Tingle, we're all for character development in games but it may never be fully understood why this simple map maker had to be fleshed out as a 35 year old weirdo obsessed with fulfilling his fairy fantasy. Sure, as Link we're also wearing green tights, but at least we've got a sword, dammit.

This guy seems to have been genetically bred in a lab as a walking irritant. Everything he does rubs us the wrong way (Tingle ends every single convesation with the magic words "Kooloo-Limpah") and there's no avoiding him, because he's got the maps. What's worse, Nintendo continued to bring him back in future installments of the series.

It is a cruel irony that we could barely make it down one hallway of Goldeneye without accidentally killing Natalya, yet no amount of vicious blows by Link's sword will bring down Tingle. He's lucky, too, because as soon a we had that last map we'd put his head on a pike.

#6.

Daxter from Jak and Daxter

This is Jak's half-otter, half-weasel companion who makes a long quest seem longer by interjecting bad humor into it.

Why he annoyed us:
Daxter reminds us of that one friend who is always cracking jokes, but isn't any good at it. In the case of our friend, we try to force a polite laugh, as not to lower his self esteem any more than it already is.

Daxter, however, is not our friend, leaving us no choice but to hate his very soul. Further sealing his fate, he constantly complains about how the player is playing the game. This is the kind of back-seat gaming we wouldn't tolerate from Navi the magical fairy up there, we're sure as hell not going to take it from this talking rodent.

#5.

Mr. Resetti from Animal Crossing

This is the hot-tempered mole who stresses the importance of saving your game just a little too much.

Why he annoyed us:
Much like an activist with nothing better to do, Mr. Resetti travels around berating those who quit their game without saving. If you ever reset or turn off this game without saving, if we may borrow a line from Full Metal Jacket, you will be in a world of shit. The next time you attempt to play, Mr. Resetti shows up to punish you by forcing you to scroll through endless screens of boring text. There are no exceptions to this policy.

Even if you had to quickly turn off the system in order to drive your grandmother to the hospital, you will still be chewed out. If he happens to be particularly upset with you, he'll even make you type out an apology using a mediocre and outdated letter entry system. Okay, it's funny the first couple of times. But after that, Nintendo just needs to realize we're busy people, always getting paged to go tend to some emergency. We can't be stopping to save your stupid game every time, Grandma's spleen is bleeding.

#4.

The Cops from Road Rash

In real life, we appreciate the cops. We don't want to live in a lawless wasteland (well, not all the time anyway). But in the world of video games, they serve primarily as a means to obstruct your fun.

Why they annoyed us:
When playing this game, all you're trying to do is participate in an innocent little illegal motorcycle street race, while maybe hitting your opponents with chains. The "fuzz", as they are referred to, insist on busting your ass at every opportunity. They have also clearly been bribed, as they never attempt to arrest your opponents, many of which, according to their bios, actually have an established criminal history.

As if these officers weren't already diabolical enough, they often have the foresight to park themselves roughly two-hundred yards in front of double-parked cars at the end of blind 90-degree turns, so that when you inevitably crash, you slide right into them. We ask you, who's committing the crime here?

The system, man. That's who.

#3.

Waluigi from Mario Tennis

For some reason all of the heroes and villains of the Mario universe gather to play a game of tennis. Waluigi is Wario's teammate, which is also his sole purpose for existing.

Why he annoyed us:
When they were developing Mario Tennis, Wario needed a doubles partner. So they chose between two alternatives: Either dig into the Mario archives and bring back another classic villain, like they did with Birdo and Shy Guy, or put 'Wa' in front of 'Luigi' and create the biggest piece of shit character of all time. Sadly, they chose the latter and the abomination known as Waluigi was born.

Sure, maybe the concept of an evil counterpart to Luigi actually had potential at some point, like maybe if they didn't just take the Luigi model, turn it purple, then stretch him out and give him a mustache like a silent film-era villain. It also doesn't help that you're debuting him in a damned tennis game. Seriously, if this is the first time we've seen him, how do we know he's evil? Because of his backhand?

#2.

Every Racer that uses Comeback A.I., from Countless Racing Games

At some point race game designers realized we stopped playing the games as soon as we got good enough to win the races. So how to keep the game competitive years later? Why, by giving the opposing racers magically-enhanced speed, which means no matter how well you drive, they will always be right up your ass.

Why they annoyed us:
When we own the fastest racer on the track, are the most skilled driver, and sit in first place for minutes on end, we expect to build an ever-widening lead en route to a dominant victory, thus giving us that self-esteem boost we so desperately need.

However, racers who use comeback A.I. don't like it when you feel good about yourself. Making people angry and depressed is the highlight of their day. Whenever you move into first place, they gain an impossible speed burst (or, in Mario Kart, actually teleport ahead) to stay right behind you and wait for you to make the slightest mistake. Hit a pothole two seconds before the finish line, and these guys will sweep around you to claim the checkered flag.

Never mind that you just shaved a whole minute off the time it took you to win the race before, and that you've spent weeks honing your driving skills and upgrading your car. It's like a practical joke the system is playing on you, and you keep falling for it over and over again.

#1.

The Dog from Duck Hunt

It's a hunting dog who is proficient in retrieving ducks and laughing at you.

Why he annoyed us:
This dog, despite not even having a name, has truly earned his title as the single most hated character in video game history. For millions of kids, he was the very first video game character they ever saw, and it was their very first experience with having an inanimate computer mock their failure.

You could shoot a hundred ducks in a row, but as soon as you miss one, this motherfucker would be laughing at you like you shit your pants. This canine is not man's best friend. To him, you're his bitch, to be mocked for his enjoyment. If real dogs did this, they'd be extinct by now. Mankind would have made sure of it.

These same people, who cried watching Old Yeller as a kid, found themselves shooting mercilessly at this animated, snickering dog, to no avail. So congratulations, Laughing Duck Hunt Dog. You were the first landmark annoying video game character, and for two decades you have held tightly onto that crown.

source

Google is watching......

2008-02-17T20:33:00.000+01:00

Chintendo Vii Reviewed!!!

2008-02-07T17:44:00.000+01:00

The 25 Most Nonsensical Protest Signs

2008-02-04T21:09:00.000+01:00

In this modern age of cynical detachment, where many people have difficulty expressing an opinion that isn't couched in layers of irony and "meh," there's something refreshing about protesters. These people actually care about something, so firmly and fervently that they're willing to get up and do something about it, even if that something is only marching around and trying to work up a rhyme for "globalization." Yeah they smell, and they're usually shamelessly ugly, but there's just something so earnest about these people that we can't help but respect.

Except for the stupid ones. It turns out there's a lot of those. Here are the 25 stupidest.

#25.

Later this guy would feel humiliated, when he realized the spelling error on his sign after he'd gotten home from this small town's annual protest of the works of Rick Moranis.

#24.

This guy was opposing the protest across the street by the Double Negative Enthusiasts Club for Not Ending the War in Iraq Sooner Rather Than Later!

#23.

Maybe, but Jesus had the PR, and a way better stylist.

#22.

Here's a couple dorky signs, though given the sorry state of most protest humor, these qualify as pretty cutting edge. But as we see it, if you're going to use an internet meme for a protest sign, why stop at anything less than:

If you didn't get that, feel glad. FYI, that link's really not safe for work.

#21.

This hippie's sign is made all the better by the fact that he ran out of room when writing "Johnson's" and instead of making a new sign from scratch, just Scotch-taped an "S" on the end, making him both cowardly and lazy. The only conclusion you come away with is that the army would have done this fellow a world of good.

#20.

If this guy was any more in your face, he'd be living in your nose, which would suck since your work life and ability to form relationships would be severely impeded by the sound of Rage Against the Machine constantly blaring out of your nostrils.

#19.

Calling Dick Cheney a war criminal is old hat by now--there's actually a pretty good chance his wife calls him that in bed. What makes this one so odd is the second-grader-Halloween-art-project-skull-mask the protester, who appears to be Art Garfunkel, is wearing.

#18.

Lunatic protesters aren't solely a product of America of course. This one is a particularly good example of someone missing the point of "freedom of expression" entirely.

#17.

Another contender for our "missing the point entirely" prize, we instead decided to nominate this entry for Cracked's first Annual "Doesn't Understand How Buses Work" award.

#16.

Claustrophobics have a real love/hate thing with protests, what with their tendency to be held outdoors and densely packed crowds.

This guy's evidently using several American flags to calm him within that mass of people.

#15.

Until you read the small print and then think about it for a minute, the sign just looks like she wants us to vote vampires out of office, which, honestly, we never knew was an option.

#14.

Protesters, brown people, and a war on Christmas. You'd swear this is a digital composite created by Fox News.

#13.

In America, we mainly consider Japan to be a crazy little inventor who makes the cool gadgets that help us do our jobs--the Fuji to our Super Dave Osbourne. But in China, they hate, hate, hate the Japanese, for a variety of somewhat compelling reasons. Go Google "the rape of Nanking" if you want to find out more. Here at Cracked, one of our specialties is "not making jokes about the rape of Nanking," so we're not gonna go into it.

Suffice to say, many Chinese really hate the Japanese, which makes us wonder if "scamp" means something different in Chinese.

#12.

"Hey, how can we work these stilts into our protest?"

"Don't ask me. I'm trying to figure out what to do with five extra yards of gray felt."

#11.

Hey fella, if you're going to multi-task your protest, why not go join the elephant guys? May we suggest, "Keep your bullhooks out of our vaginas!

#10.

We had to find this picture and now you have to look at it.

After staring at this for about two minutes (what are you snickering at?) we realized this was actually a brain teaser.

Re-elect

Gore

But

Not For

War Oil.

Which is obviously referring to Al Gore's repeated Presidential campaign promises for "More War Oil."

#9.

When we found this picture, its most groinal aspects hadn't been blurred out yet. You can thank us later. Anyways, hooray free speech!

You know something, on second thought, that Muslim guy might be on to something.

#8.

Although American mastery of tortilla-based technologies has yet to reach the same level as Mexico's, it's probably not logically taut to declare that "no burritos" would be the result of "no illegals."

#7.

"I'm telling you Ethel, it doesn't matter if it's grammatically accurate, you're just going to confuse people."

#6.

While researching this piece, we came across a whole bunch of images on the internet that all had a similar theme: one guy holding up an outrageous or self-righteous protest sign, with a second guy standing behind him wielding a sign that says "I'm with stupid." We didn't include any of those here, because they sucked.

This one's different though. We include it here partially for the convoluted two-prong homophobia in the background, but partially for the huge balls the guy with the "sational" sign must have.

#5.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You just wanna go over there to kill a bunch of motherfuckers and take their shit? That's totally cool."

#4.

This one's also bounced around the internet a bit, but it's too good not to pass along here.

When you see it all up there on the one sign, you realize that God must just have smoke billowing out of his ears like a tea kettle, all the time.

#3.

That's actually how James Madison originally phrased the First Amendment, but it got muddled up in committee.

#2.

A careful eye will notice that the "electrocuted" portion of the sign has been taped on as an afterthought. Is this another case of someone not choosing their font size carefully, or did he simply decide after creating the world's most hypocritical protester sign that he wanted to do something much worse to protesters' asses?

#1.

As comedy writers, our work necessitates us using computers for upwards of 10 hours a day, a substantial portion of which, quite frankly, requires us to look at gay porn. So really, this woman's got a pretty good handle on this computer thing.

But a devil machine? That's crazy.

source

The 12 Most Awesomely Ridiculous eBay Auctions

2008-02-02T13:57:00.000+01:00

How does one describe the layered horror that is eBay? Look long enough and you'll find an item that the mere knowledge of its existence brings shock and dismay. Then, you must cope with the fact that the seller thought we would be willing to pay good money for it, and then come to terms with the fact that usually they're right.

Here are some that almost had us bidding out of sheer, morbid curiosity.

#12. The CB-6000 Male Chastity Contraption

Oh God, this one doesn't look good at all. That's right, it's the CB-6000 male chastity belt on sale for a Buy It Now price of $189.95. What a steal!

This horrible, horrible device just about looks like the most uncomfortable and awkward thing that has ever been invented. The auction claims that "This is a new, flat design that is even more comfortable and even less noticeable than the previous popular models, "but the huge plastic dongs staring back at us seem to differ in their opinions. Wearing one of these would be the equivalent of getting that half-chub in english class, then having to go up to the board and diagram sentences, but even better because it is ALWAYS THERE.

The real climax of this auction comes when you see:

"Bonus! Free pair of Italian-designed sunglasses! See picture for listing and colors. Specify choice of color when submitting payment!" We're assuming you need these because you want everyone to think you look cool when they see you walking down the street with your plastic-cock outline bulging out of your jeans.

#11. The World's Largest Lite-Bright

Remember that crappy little toy with easy-to-swallow parts that you used to get bored of at your grandparent's house? How would you like to spend 15 grand on a huge one of those that some creepy guy spent way too much time on?

We thought so, just fax the deed to your house over to us, and we'll take care of the rest. Possibly the most depressing part of this auction is not the level of detail that the "artist" had to go into, but rather the handmade, hand-painted frame and exquisite velvet backing that really accent the piece. Thankfully, for the sake of this man's sanity, he will be featured in next year's Ripley's Believe It or Not!, thus assuring him a steady place in the pantheon alongside the Lizardman and that dude who got a railroad spike blown through his head.

#10. E.T. Movie Character Bicycle Siren W/ Light Up Eyes

When we first came across this auction, we were shocked to see what we thought was a severed baby head in the preview window. It turns out, however, that it was simply a terrifying severed E.T. head.

Of all the horrible merchandise spawned from the '80s film (and there was a lot), this has to be the most terrifying. No doubt the seller is hoping that getting rid of the thing will banish it from their nightmares as well. We doubt it.

Steven Spielberg spent millions of dollars trying to make that crappy puppet look adorable, next to Drew Barrymore no less, and this toy company instead decided to freehand a carving of an achondroplastic dwarf with a lazy eye, then call it a day. Probably the scariest part of this toy is that when you turn it on, the decapitated skull's eyes start glowing red, just in case you didn't know that the object was pure evil.

#9. Nickelback Shot Glass

This is just about the shittiest shot glass ever seen. If you were at some bar and told the bartender "Oh no, I'd like my tequila in THIS shot glass," we're pretty sure you'd wake up the next morning in the hospital with one hell of a barstool lodged up your ass. The only viable use we can see for this shot glass is to use it to get drunk enough to forget what Nickelback is.

#8. Chocolate Flavored Nipple Spread - With Applicator

What goes better together than nipples and chocolate? Nipples and a knife! Yes this nipple spread comes with a KNIFE included for spreading chocolate over a nipple.

Now, we're not ones to pry, but should you really be buying a product that has the warning "Never over-sharpen blade, especially if used by those who are prone to: sneezing attacks, nervous ticks, slashing fantasies, or DEAD DRUNK!"

Oh, and if you decide to warm the blade in the microwave before you use it, they advise using the "scream test" to check if it's the appropriate temperature. This is another one of those sad situations where the only people who need the warning--psychopaths and cannibals--are also the ones least likely to follow it.

#7. Barack Obama- Digital Political Pop Art

Selling art on the internets?! What an amazing idea! How about political art? Even better! How about a crappy Photoshop manipulation of Barack Obama with some shitty clip art orbiting his head?

WHY CAN'T WE OWN THIS!?!?!!? Oh wait, that's right, because this douche wants to charge you $1,500 for the five minutes he spent on his computer. The cost for his supplies and time must have been through the roof, because we can only imagine that the $950 starting bid he began this auction with made his profit margins razor thin.

Yes, we realize art is more than the sum of its materials. But, not in this case. Either the items are so symbolic as to be indecipherable (though we're pretty sure we know what the Coke symbolizes) or else it's simply a depiction of an Obama who has collapsed on the floor in mid-snack, his skin turning blue from oxygen deprivation, his soft drink and banana having landed near his head. He was also just about to mail something.

To add insult to injury, as the man lay gasping on the floor, a snail has stolen his watch.

#6. American Raccoon Penis Bone

Did you know that most animals other than man have an actual bone in the penis called baculum? Well eBay seller "baculumdude" sure does, and he is very willing to tell you about them. He also has his very own store on eBay called, oh you guessed it, Baculum world.

Scared yet? Well, if not, you may be interested in these penis bones (also known as mountainman toothpicks according to "dude"), as they can be used as a conversation piece or... well we guess there's no other use for these, unless you consider the best anniversary present ever an actual use.

#5. Used Breast Implants

This is an auction for some girl's old used breast implants. You see, Janine apparently wants to upgrade her boobs from what she has now to... convex, we guess. This is probably one of the grossest auctions on eBay, considering this object was (for more than several days) inside of the seller's body. While Janine does mention that she has a calendar out for 2008, she refuses to show her face in the auction--go figure. Well, at least whoever buys these can rest easy knowing that there is little else they can do in their lives that will be creepier than this.

#4. Hologram Jesus

Now upon first inspection of the photo for this auction, it appeared to us that "robsue" was trying to start a bidding war for Jesus (with a Buy It Now price of $2). In reality, what rob or sue seems to be selling is a playing card with the Shroud of Turin on it. While we can imagine nothing more exhilarating than getting onto the playground and trying to trade our Jesus playing card for your best friend's Mark McGuire rookie card, the seller only ups the ante once you read the description.

That's right, it's a genuine HOLOGRAM Jesus collectible card. Now we're not one to call something sacrilegious, but putting the King of Kings on par with the pack of X-men hologram cards you got in a box of Cap'n Crunch may be a little much.

#3. Old Playboy Magazines

Mmmm, nothing gets us going more than 40-year-old used pornography!

Fortunately these are all in good condition and still have the centerfold intact (the seller seems to have done some extensive research into this).

The poor old guy is probably thinking, "These poor, young internet users! Where else shall they find the pornography in these prudish times? Why, these four crusty magazines are likely the only porn they shall ever see!"

We're afraid it's a buyer's market for porn these days, kind sir. Not only are every one of these 1965-era naked pictures available online somewhere, for free, but we can also get you hi-res pictures of what those models look like in 2008. For that is the magic of the internet.

#2. The Seanut

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Hey, I would really like to own the largest nut in the world, but I'm only a millionaire!" Well, you're finally in luck.

According to this poorly worded auction, the Seanut is the largest nut in the world "that been register in Guinness Records." Interestingly, in his effort to sell the item, the seller has completely forgotten to note how much the nut looks like genitalia.

Our big problem is that for the $367,000 asking price, it's not at all clear how big this nut is. He should have put something next to it for scale. Is it the size of an ash tray? A bowling ball? A car? Can kids climb on it? Can we put it in the yard and sell tickets? Can we hollow it out and live inside it? And call it Fort Vulva?

#1. Invisibility

OK, now who in their life hasn't either wanted real x-ray glasses or the ability to become invisible? Well billwwilliams is here to finally answer your prayers.

Now, if we are to believe this auction (and of course we want to), then the secret to invisibility has been kept secret for thousands of years and is one of the "best-kept secrets of the ages." But the subtitles at the beginning CLEARLY state that this isn't a magic trick or a ninja technique.

What gives!? Who wants some crappy invisibility that ninjas don't even use? The auction goes on to screw itself over by CLEARLY stating at the bottom and in its description that it is to be used for "MORAL PURPOSES ONLY." What kind of crap is that? If you're doing something moral, you sure as hell don't need to be invisible. That's the stuff you want people to see.

The last nail in the coffin to this potentially kickass auction is the fact that the secret can be "digitally delivered" to you. Fuck that, if the secret of invisibility is "digital" we're getting it off fucking BitTorrent. Then we're hiring ourselves out as an invisible assassin, charging millions to the highest bidder, changing the course of nations with a stroke of our invisible blade. Or maybe just use it to sneak into girls' locker rooms.

Next Year's Oscar Nominees (If the Strike Doesn't End)

2008-02-01T23:23:00.001+01:00

Unlike network TV, the box office has survived the writer's strike just fine so far. But that's only because it takes longer to make a movie than a TV show, and it won't last forever.

If nothing gets resolved, what will next year's Oscar nominees look like? The winner is below, but first, the runners-up:

by evilkumquat

by Rubbin Hood

by peedsllab

by Sanchez

by Johnny Roastbeef

by keithito

by Drunky McStumble

by Sanchez

(Hint: Google "candiru" if you're not familiar with it. Or better yet, don't).

by KillerofSnakes

by The Edge Will Cut You

by Luke McKinney

by tayser

by Ryan

by Danger1

(Based on the hit desktop game).

by Maran

by KillerofSnakes

by MadPiper6

by Deathwish Jones

by Mortal Wombat

by fancytaco

And the winner is...

by Sanchez

Congrats, Sanchez.

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The 8 Awesomest/Stupidest Lego Creations Ever!

2008-01-30T19:29:00.000+01:00

So 2008 marks the 50th Anniversary of the humble Lego Brick, which you should all be familiar with - if you breathe air there’s a pretty good chance that at some point in your life you played with Lego. And if you’re anything like me, you pretty much exclusively focused your attention on building cars that had guns sprouting from every available surface. For some reason as a child, my entire concept of the outside world looked an awful lot like The Road Warrior, which probably speaks to some sort of flaw in my upbringing.

Anyways, it turns out that there’s thousands of other things that can be created out of of Lego bricks - all of which would be made immeasurably cooler by the addition of several guns. And these Lego creations can get big. As with any hobby that involves spending a lot of time by yourself, some pretty lame but enormous people have built some pretty lame but enormous things out of Lego.

Thankfully, they’re not all dreadfully boring. Here’s 8 of the coolest things I could find.

Han Solo in carbonite

Why go to the hassle of trapping and cryo-freezing noted stage and film actor Harrison Ford when you can recreate the same grisly visage out of Lego’s?

An ambulance that employees the principle of hopping instead of rolling

I’m a die-hard Achewood fan and you will be too if you know what’s good for you. This ambulance meant for rabbits is just the greatest.

An eye-wateringly detailed church.

Click on the picture to check out some more images of this masterpiece. Say what you will about religion, but you won’t find anyone dedicating this much time and energy to recreating a Sizzler out of Legos.

Automated Car Assembly Line

Kind of a long video, this one uses the new-school “Mindworks” Lego pieces, which can be programed and automated. It depicts an automated assembly line which constructs a little Lego car. harmless toy, or yet another threat to the American auto industry?

Elastic Band Gatling Gun

This one’s definitely worth watching. It’s another motorized creation, this time a gatling gun that fires about 80 rubber bands in 10 seconds. Visually impressive, although judging by the piece of paper used as target, it appears to have the stopping power of a wet fart.

Stephen Hawking

This is probably the only thing on this list I’m capable of building myself, and yet I know that were I to do so, I wouldn’t be able to resist attaching a couple guns to his wheelchair and head.

Harpsichord

This is a legitimate feat of engineering, given the amount of strength needed so it wouldn’t snap in half from the pressure.

Sure it sounds like someone kicking a bag of cats, but that’s pretty good for Lego.

Lego Porn

A classic in Internet terms, dating back to the early 2000’s. I’m going to err on the side of caution and not post any pictures here. But if you’ve been using the Internet for more than two weeks, you’ve probably seen harder core stuff than this by accident.

Lego Porn Scene 1
Lego Porn Scene 2
Lego Porn Scene 3
Lego Porn Scene 4
Lego Porn Scene 5
Lego Porn Scene 6

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The 6 Most Disappointing Video Game End Bosses

2008-01-18T10:47:00.000+01:00

Trevelyan from Goldeneye 007

In this N64 title, considered one of the most important shooters of all time, Bond finds time between martinis to thwart ex-agent Alec Trevelyan's plan to send the country which betrayed him back to the Stone Age. The game is so highly regarded due to its balanced death match options and working stealth sections. It is also because of developer Rare's decision to dehumanize the enemies by showing them as square-headed freaks, thus letting us step inside Bond's head by seeing them as he sees them: not as people, but as things to be destroyed.

What you'd expect ...
In the movie, Trevelyan acquitted himself pretty well, holding his own against Bond in a straightforward fist fight. How will this be recreated in a first-person shooter? Will you have to keep pausing the game, thus causing Bond to raise his arm in front of his face to deflect Trevelyan's blows? Will you have to karate chop him to death? For England, James?

What actually happens ...
The game deals with these difficulties by not actually including badass Trevelyan as a character. He is replaced with "little girl" Trevelyan, who runs away from you, throwing up a wall of henchmen as he does so. He also has the audacity to imply through one-liners that running away from Bond makes him the braver man.

Trevelyan climbs, sobbing with terror, onto a ludicrously small platform. You, as Bond, follow him down and kill him. End of game. Trevelyan is dead.

But, the whole thing was like killing a child, and instead of triumph, there is a feeling of gnawing emptiness that can only be sated by more death. Perhaps, Bond won't jump on the helicopter after all. Perhaps, he'll stay here and die with his ambitions.

But, no, James is rewarded for his defeat of this frightened, helpless man by getting the girl (the same one whose ass you had to protect in the most tedious parts of the game) and we watch as they kiss with their weird, square heads.

Of course, this is James Bond we're talking about, who "gets the girl" about six times on an average day. So, for Bond it must have been the reward equivalent of a snack-sized bag of Cheetos.

Giant alien brains from Gradius series

The Gradius series is truly old school. The original was released back in the NES days and had sequels and spinoffs aplenty, all the way up to Gradius V in 2004. The games are all 2D side-scrolling shoot-em-ups (or "shmups" as you should definitely not call them in front of girls), which will have you dodging slow-moving enemy bullets and collecting power-ups to enhance your own weapons as you navigate your spaceship through some pretty strange shit.

Above: Pretty strange shit.

What you'd expect ...
Let's say you're playing Gradius V, and you're enjoying it despite the fact that the damn thing is trying as hard as it can to make you fail. Seriously, if the game's packaging included a little trap that tore your hands off the first time you opened the box, it couldn't make it more obvious that it hates you. Let's say that, hands intact, you've made it to the final level. Given the bosses you've faced down so far, you'd expect something pretty fucking hardcore like some screen-filling badass whose very glare will terrify you into surrender. It's a balls-to-the-wall, glistening, squishy boomstravaganza, with maybe a pixel's width of the screen at a time not occupied by the bullet storm your foe will let loose at you from his unimaginable maw.

What actually happens ...
Considering how enthusiastic all the henchmen you've slaughtered have been, the evil alien overlords of the Gradius universe are surprisingly unmotivated. You can forgive them for not having much energy. After all, they are pretty much just brains.

Above: brains

But damn, guys, stick a gun turret or something in the room with you. A TV or something, maybe if you keep yourselves entertained you won't end up so goddamn depressed by the time we reach you. Sometimes you don't even have to get a shot off; the brain sees you in the room and explodes out of sheer desperation. The only way to lose against these boys is to intentionally fly your ship directly into them. And you have to do it fast, since they decide pretty quickly that they're better off dead.

The end bosses in Gradius II and III at least get a few shots off, but we get the feeling it's more to spare their dignity than anything else. They can meet up with the end bosses from Gradius I, IV and V in Evil Alien Heaven and say, "Well, at least we tried."

The Dark Prince from Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones

The final installment in the Sands Of Time trilogy sees the eponymous Prince fighting, time traveling and acrobating his way through the plot of the first game, again. But this time, it's with an evil alter-ego sharing his body.

The two have arguments, and the Prince has to suppress his dark side with water to keep from being taken over completely. There's gonna be a fight sooner or later, once the Prince completes his noble quest to free his people against enormous odds and bring peace once more.

What you'd expect ...
In the first game you fought the Vizier, who was a frail old man. This, naturally, didn't make for the world's most challenging battle as he was pretty much already dying and you just had to nudge him along. In the second game, you fought the Dahaka, which spent most of the battle trying not to fall off a cliff. Finally, finally, the Prince has a nemesis who is his equal: strong, fast, agile and perhaps with some time-travel powers of his own. There is absolutely no way in hell this battle will not blow your shit completely down the street.

What actually happens ...
Unless, of course, there is no battle. The Dark Prince just runs away, and the real prince gives chase. The point, you see, is that by fighting his dark side the prince would actually be feeding it. He defeats it by simply walking away. Which would be quite a nice ending if this were a novel.

That point would have been much better translated to a video game if the Prince had been attacked by symbolic representations of all his negative emotions. Perhaps symbolized by cybernetic demons with chainsaws.

Ganondorf from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

The peaceful land of Hyrule is being invaded by peace-hating goth dudes from a parallel universe. Only Link, a horse-breeding yokel, has a sword big and sharp enough to stop them.

What you'd expect ...
The leader of the goth dudes claims he gets his power from his "god." It turns out that this god is actually series regular Ganondorf.

Ganondorf is eager to fight you.

And, when Ganondorf is involved, anyone who's played a Zelda game before knows exactly what to expect. He'll fling a fireball or two at you, which you'll deflect with your sword, and he'll then deflect it back at you, and then this will be repeated until you're considering suicide. At this point, he'll forget to deflect it. Then, it'll hit him, shutting down his entire nervous system, and you can wade in with your sword, delivering cutty, meaty justice until he falls, dead, to the floor and then turns into a giant pig monster. And lo, our prophecies come true.

You kill his pig monster form, then Ganondorf tries to kill you from the comfort of his horse, earning himself another slice of hurt. He then, FINALLY, challenges you to a one-on-one sword battle. Bring it on, bitch: We named our character Rambo. We're ready for the ass kicking to end all ass kickings.

What actually happens ...
The sword duel fails to materialize. Perhaps, Ganondorf is depressed by the death of his horse. Maybe, he's embarrassed that this kid in a fairy hat has thwarted him utterly, or just baffled by the fact that this happens every time he tries to do anything. He probably can't even go to the toilet without fighting his way past some tights-clad Hero Of Stopping Ganondorf Having a Piss.

For whatever reason, Ganondorf's lacking motivation. He trudges around the battlefield like a teenager on the way to an interview for a job he doesn't want. He does, to be fair, swing his sword occasionally, but not in a sword fighting way. It's more like a pointer and he's giving a lecture; ranting, perhaps, about blond bastards in green tunics conspiring against him, to a room full of nervous college students. He manages to spin this out for a good few minutes before being decisively impaled.

Even then, he barely changes his fucking expression! We went into this battle expecting Darth Maul, and what we got was C-3PO.

Krieger from Far Cry Instincts

This Xbox spinoff from the PC game sees Jack Carver (a more fitting name, we feel, would be Jack Ripopenfucktodeathshooter) killing an island full of Bad Guys(tm) using his genetically-implanted beastman powers.

Oh yeah, and his huge guns.

What you'd expect ...
Toward the end of the game, you're taking on fellow beastmen, and it's getting harder and harder, until you eventually fight a man named Crowe, second in command to the evil Krieger.

After you dispatch him, Krieger surrounds himself with beastmen to stop you getting to him. A fight with four beastmen, simultaneously, in a little room, with your health and ammo drained by the face-off with Crowe? You're scared. You don't want to do this. You want to see an alternate ending where Jack Ripopenfucktodeathshooter runs away to his mommy, who dresses him in a little flowery frock, because it's too hard to be a boy. You're reaching over to turn the Xbox off, shaking your head in horror, as Krieger says, "He killed Crowe! He took away your leader! You owe him vengeance!"

What actually happens ...
Krieger's beastmen decide that, since Jack Ripopenfucktodeathshooter killed their leader, he is now the new leader. And, who's been trying to kill their new leader?

Yes, Krieger is one of the legions of evil scientists who end up destroyed by their own creation. If only the poor guy had taken a few minutes to talk to his beastmen, find out how they felt, he might not have suffered such an ignoble fate. Instead, he'd have been shot in the face by Jack Ripopenfucktodeathshooter, which would at least have been over a lot quicker.

Bowser from Super Mario Sunshine

Mario's nemesis, Bowser, has a new, creepy plan to seduce Princess Peach. He creepily convinces his son that Peach is his mother. When given this news, Peach is surprised but doesn't deny it, which is even creepier. Baby Bowser then kidnaps Peach, and the three of them head off for a creepy family reunion in a toxic hot tub in space. Mario has to stop them by cleaning up the brown waste Bowser and son have left in their wake.

What you'd expect ...
After the intense fire-based punishment of the preceding volcano level, you're more than ready for some one-on-one fisticuffs.

You expect, nay demand, a duel of epic proportions. You will settle for nothing less than Mario emerging from this final battle burned and bleeding, but triumphant, with Bowser's severed head in one hand and a swooning Princess Peach in the other, roaring his victory to the gods themselves.

Or, an updated version of those arenas where you swing Bowser around and throw him face first into a bomb would be good, too.

What actually happens...
Bowser's annoyed that Mario has ruined his vacation. He's not annoyed enough to actually get out of his damned hot tub, though. He just sits there, putting up a token resistance.

But he really doesn't give a shit and consequently is not only defeated, but humiliated in front of his son.

You can't really blame him. He's been at this for over 20 years. He must have known from the start that this would happen, and what good has fighting it ever done him?

So, the final battle of Super Mario Sunshine is an uncomfortable farce for all involved. After Mario has smashed Bowser's hot tub (yes, that's how you beat him) Bowser goes plummeting sadly to earth, where he and his son wind up stranded on a desert island. There, Bowser is forced to explain to his son that dinosaur monsters and human women cannot actually mate, Bowser enduring the kind of shame that would destroy any other man.

Bowser's son bravely endures his father's humiliation, and vows to get his own revenge on Mario when he gets older. King Bowser reassures him as the camera pulls back to reveal they are trapped on the island with no means of escape...

..and thus within mere days, Bowser will surely be forced to eat his son, ending his sad royal line
forever.

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Kensington Vii video

2007-12-20T22:28:00.000+01:00

Sit back and Enjoy!!!!

2007-12-14T10:37:00.000+01:00

Introducing, the Kensington Vii

2007-12-13T20:07:00.000+01:00

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Aston Martin and Bang & Olufsen Announce Creative Partnership

2007-12-11T19:42:00.000+01:00

Together, Aston Martin and Bang & Olufsen present a partnership of two innovative companies with a proud tradition in technology and design. Both Aston Martin and Bang & Olufsen blend an unrelenting quest for technical excellence with an uncompromising commitment to quality and style. Both have the courage to go far beyond the conventional.

Dr Ulrich Bez, Aston Martin’s Chief Executive Officer, describes the new association between the companies as a landmark collaboration between two market leaders. "Without technological innovation, neither Aston Martin nor Bang & Olufsen would have achieved the reputation they have today as leaders in both design and performance," he says. "Elegance and excellence go hand in hand, and designers, engineers and specialists in both companies will work close together to get the benchmark result.

Bang & Olufsen Chief Executive Officer, Torben Ballegard Sørensen also believes the two companies have much in common, and not just in terms of esteem and ambition. "There are deep similarities between our cultures and heritage. Bang & Olufsen’s values are rooted on passion and performance as well as design and craftsmanship. These are exactly the same values that you experience in an Aston Martin," he says.

Renowned for so much more than unparalleled performance on road and track, an Aston Martin combines refinement with exhilaration, a key component of which is the sound of the engine, as finely tuned as a musical instrument. This adds another level of sonic complexity, and presents a unique set of acoustic challenges. "We have to create the synthesis between all intriguing senses in a sports car," Ballegard emphasizes."

Both companies appreciate the value of individuality and at Bang & Olufsen, there is a very real human element to every stage of the design and manufacturing processes, from the integral role played by the classically trained tonmeisters to the hand finishing of the products. Aston Martin take the same approach: all their cars carry the name plate of the engineer who completes the final inspection.

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Goood times! 100 Commodore 64 games in 10 minutes!

2007-12-07T20:43:00.000+01:00

brings back memories!!!

Inside the Chintendo Vii

2007-12-05T12:56:00.000+01:00

The Chintendo Vii

2007-12-03T18:50:00.000+01:00

its the Ninten.. uhm the Chintendo Vii. ( i did not misspell that :) )

How to... see for your self!

2007-11-29T21:51:00.000+01:00

Audi TT Coupé, looks like a toy!

2007-11-28T23:09:00.000+01:00

Well im talking about the phone off course... :)

The device is packed in the popular Audi TT coupe form. It looks like a car toy from the top, make it upside down to reveal a real mobile phone with a 2” touchscreen (260K colors) and the support of MP3, MP4 and other formats. I’d note a 1.3-megapixel camera on the car hood. Unfortunately, we don’t have the info on the price of the model or where to buy it. (maybe China?? ;) )

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Thermal imaging of the PS3 - PROOF HORIZONTAL IS BETTER

2007-11-28T22:35:00.000+01:00

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The 11 Lamest Supervillains in History, Ever

2007-11-18T19:45:00.000+01:00

We here at the International Society of Supervillains recognize that not all purveyors of treachery are...shall we say, properly suited for the task.

Here we present to you 11 so-called "super" villains as portrayed in the hero-centric pages of the comical book medium, all of whom make a mockery of our historied profession.

The Spot

History:
Dr. Jonathan Ohnn was a C-list scientist working for A-list supervillain The Kingpin trying to figure out how the powers of B-list superhero Cloak worked. After some generic sciency mumbo-jumbo happened, he got sent to another dimension and emerged looking like a dalmatian.
M.O.:
Can teleport using the black, circular portals all over his body. But instead of using them to transport into banks and steal money or to blackmail the Kingpin and take over his empire by learning all his business secrets, he instead decides to use his immense power to simply go directly to Spider-Man so he can lose to him in a fight. Brilliant.

Fisherman

History:
A regular old angler was transformed when an alien parasite that looks like a weird helmet attached to his mustachioed head and made him evil and (supposedly) intimidating. The parasite may have also spurred his interest in form-fitting purple shirts. That's a little harder to tell.
M.O.:
In a method more than appropriate to his name, the Fisherman uses specialized lures and fishing rods to ensnare Aquaman and other foes. No, seriously. A new, deadlier version of the character recently debuted in the pages of the newest Aquaman title. Apparently, he uses the deadly Spinner Lure, as seen on TV!

Ten-Eyed Man

History:
Philip Reardon, a Vietnam vet who was partially blinded when he got hit with some grenade shrapnel, went totally blind one night when he accidentally mistook Batman for a warehouse robber. The warehouse blew up after his fight with Batman, burning his retinas. Afterward, a scientist somehow re-attached his optic nerves to the tips of his fingers.
M.O.
The shrapnel must have also damaged Mr. Reardon's brain, because he thinks it's a good idea to go after Batman, who he blames for blinding him, under the moniker Ten-Eyed Man while wearing a costume calling attention to the fact that he can only see through his fingers. As a result, Batman, being the world's greatest detective, deduces that he can simply throw something at the Ten-Eyed Man, shout "Catch!," blind the guy, and win.

Magpie

History:
Some lady with no discernable powers decided it would be a good idea to commit crimes while drawing no attention to herself whatsoever by dressing as a character from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Really, the three-point mohawk, very inconspicuous. Then she went and named herself Magpie, after the clearly incredibly threatening bird.
M.O.
Keeping up with the bird theme, Magpie steals jewels and other valuable items named for birds, and replaces those items with decoy booby traps. Get it? Booby? That's just how Magpie rolls. Also, she chooses to fight Batman and Superman with a handgun and a length of chain.

Typeface

History:
War veteran Gordon Thomas became a sign maker after his wife left him. But when another guy bought the company he worked for, he got all upset and became a supervillain. So, to recap -- wife leaves you, go find a job making signs; lose sign-making job, become a supervillain. Thomas drew letters all over his body with a grease pen and dubbed himself Typeface, because in addition to reacting to things inappropriately, he is also apparently very uncreative, which could account for why he got fired as a sign maker.
M.O.:
Thomas attacks the new owner of the sign-making business and Spider-Man (who is involved for some reason) with the giant letters he apparently stole from the place where he used to work, again displaying his less-than-desirable attributes as an employee. In a true display of lameness, he is defeated not by Spider-Man but by the fellow who bought the business, when the guy sets off a bomb destroying the building he had just bought. So essentially no superhero was necessary in the story of a bad, disgruntled employee and what is clearly a terrible businessman.

Crazy Quilt

History:
Nothing apparently set Crazy Quilt off on his life of crime, he simply was a famous painter who also happened to commit crimes. He was blinded when one of his henchmen double-crossed him. He had his eyesight restored in prison, but the colors he saw were so vivid, he went crazy and started wearing your Aunt Gladys' patchwork quilt while committing robberies and fighting Batman and Robin.
M.O.
Before he started wearing the cover you have to use when you sleep over at your grandparents' house, Crazy Quilt left clues for henchmen in paintings he made. After he began wearing the bright colors all the time, he became obsessed with Robin and started wearing a mind-controlling helmet. So, yeah, going crazy really did not help the dude.

Terra-Man

History:
After an alien killed Toby Manning's father, the alien took the young man in and raised him as his own. Once Toby grew up, he killed the alien and returned to Earth, adopting the name Terra-Man because, no joke, he was from Earth.
M.O.:
When he killed his alien-Dad, Manning stole a big store of advanced alien technology that just happened to resemble the six-shooters and lassos and whatnot of the Old West. He also got a winged horse from somewhere. With those things and a ridiculous-looking cloak and cowboy hat, he fights Superman. Yes. Superman. With a high-tech lasso.

Signalman

History:
Phil Cobb nearly got laughed out of town when he came to Gotham City and, with no reputation to speak of, tried to recruit a criminal gang. Dejected, he used his brilliant criminal mind to create a gimmick for his criminal doings based on the road signs he saw people obeying. So he created a bright red and yellow costume covered in symbols because he thought that would stop people from laughing at him. Poor fool.
M.O.:
Signalman's symbol gimmick was pretty much just a gimmick, as he preferred to commit regular hooligan-style crimes. Unfortunately, his garish costume managed to attract the attention of Batman rather than the thugs he originally set out to impress. Most of Signalman's criminal exploits, then, were quickly halted when Batman decided to take a few seconds to kick him in the face.

Asbestos Man

History:
Chemist Orson Kasloff became a criminal after years of being respected scientist failed to pay off the way he expected. He envied his fellow scientists, who he often saw riding around in Maseratis and banging supermodels, like, every night, because that's obviously what scientists do all the time. He didn't get much respect as a criminal, though, and decided the best way to quickly gain a rep would be to defeat the Human Torch. So he challenged him to a fight in a letter and created an asbestos costume.
M.O.
The Asbestos Man created a flame-retardant asbestos suit to fight the Torch and used a fancy net to rope him in. The Torch rendered him instantly useless when he broke his net. Then he laughed at him for wearing a suit that would cause him to inhale particles of a known carcinogen. That's just stupid, kids!

Hypno-Hustler

History:
A mysterious fellow known only as Antoine became the Hypno-Hustler and began stealing valuables from club owners and audiences when he played shows with his band, the Mercy Killers. Presumably he did so because he knew disco was on its way out, and he wanted to make sure he had a nice nest egg for the following years, when he would probably be working at the Gap.
M.O.
The Hypno-Hustler used a pair of special hypnotic goggles to mesmerize club owners and audiences on the nights of his shows and force them to hand over all their money and jewelry to him. Unfortunately for him, Spider-Man discovered the secret to foiling all his well-laid plans: covering his ears. How could he know?!?! Spider-Man managed to avoid the Hustler's big guns -- gas from his belt and spiky boots -- and make he and his bad hypnotize themselves by removing their earmuffs. How he managed to see into the heart of the Hustler's foolproof plan is still unknown.

Kite-Man

History:
Charles Brown was a two-bit hood who devised a way to escape from the sites of his many petty thefts: fly away on a kite strapped to his back. It should be noted that he thought this idea to be better than possibly flying a small plane or developing some rocket boots or figuring out a way to move really fast underground. Nope. A kite was his first choice.
M.O.:
In addition to flying away on a kite, a terrific way to attract the attention of Batman, Superman and Hawkman, by the way, Kite-Man really stuck to the gimmick by throwing small kites at his enemies as an attack. Just imagine the horror of having a barrage of kites hurled at you. "The sticks...if they hit you just right...are kind of pokey! Aaaaaaaaaggh!" Just the thought of it would likely make many curl up into a fetal position and shiver uncontrollably.

source

All Console sizes!

2007-11-16T11:15:00.001+01:00

Reincarnation of Bruce Lee

2007-11-15T17:11:00.000+01:00

The new threat of the free world!

2007-11-15T17:08:00.001+01:00

American president speak upon a new risin threat against the free world..

Sorry!

2007-10-25T15:56:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the lack of posting, i have been very busy with a project which will last until first of January! It will be slow these following months with post's.

World of Warcraft, now featuring cars?

2007-10-08T13:40:00.000+02:00

Price of new Playstation 3 (in Denmark)

2007-10-08T11:29:00.001+02:00

The new "cheaper" ps3 will according to Coolshop.dk, cost 3.199 kroner, that comes to about 607 US dollars.

Update: 2.599 kroner about 448,17 USD

specs:

PLAYSTATION®3 40GB Specification

Product name PLAYSTATION®3

CPU Cell Broadband Engine™

Processor GPU RSX™

Sound Dolby 5.1ch, DTS 5.1ch , LPCM 7.1ch, AAC, others *1 *2

Memory 256MB XDR Main RAM, 256MB GDDR3 VRAM HDD 2.5” Serial ATA 40GB

I/O USB 2.0 x2 Communication Ethernet x1 (10BASE-T, 100BASE-TX, 1000BASE-T) IEEE 802.11 b/g Included Bluetooth 2.0 (EDR) Included Wireless controller (Bluetooth)
Included AV Output Screen size 480i, 480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p HDMI OUT x1 *3 AV MULTI OUT x1 DIGITAL OUT (OPTICAL) x1 BD/DVD/CD Drive (Read Only) Maximum Read Speed BD 2x (BD-ROM) DVD 8x (DVD-ROM) CD 24x (CD-ROM)

Dimensions Approximately 325mm (W) x 98mm (H) x 274mm (D) Weight Approximately 5 kg *1 A device compatible with Linear PCM 7.1 Ch. is required to output 7.1 Ch. audio, supported by Dolby TrueHD or a similar format, from the HDMI OUT connector. *2 This system does not support output from the DTS-HD 7.1 Ch. DTS-HD 7.1 Ch. audio is output from a 5.1 or lower channel. *3 "Deep Color" and "x.v.Color (xvYCC)" defined by HDMI ver1.3a are supported.

Source coolshop

Water cooled Playstationen 3

2007-10-08T11:24:00.000+02:00

Dragonpower has shown off his work in progress project - a watercooled PS3 with temperatures reaching a mere 32 degrees centigrade under heavy load and the console sounding almost 'dead silent'.

source maxconsole

PLAYSTATION 3 40GB

2007-10-06T12:30:00.000+02:00

Sony Computer Entertainment Europe (SCEE) today announced details of its new PLAYSTATION 3 40GB model that will be launched throughout Europe on October 10th 2007 at a price of €399 (£299).

The new PS3 is being introduced to provide an affordable entry point into the world of High Definition gaming and entertainment, and includes all the features central to the PLAYSTATION 3 experience; true next generation gameplay, High Definition Blu-ray Disc movies, SIXAXIS Wireless Control, and Wireless Internet and HDMI connectivity, all powered by the Cell Broadband Engine, the digital heart of PS3.

The specification of the new 40GB model has been determined following feedback from thousands of PS3 owners, and features two USB 2.0 ports rather than four and no longer includes the multi memory card port.

The new 40GB model is also no longer backwards compatible with PlayStation 2 titles. This is due to a reduced emphasis placed on this feature by later purchasers of PS3, as well as the availability of a more extensive line-up of PS3 specific games, which will number a total of 65 titles across all genres by Christmas 2007.

As with the PLAYSTATION 3 60GB, the 40GB model features system software updates allowing new features and functionality to be added to the system as time progresses.

In the UK and Ireland, a Value Pack consisting of a 60GB PS3 with extensive backwards compatibility and two first party titles will be on sale at a price of €499 (£349). Remaining on sale while stocks last, the 60GB model represents outstanding value for the keen gamer wishing to upgrade to the High Definition capabilities of PS3. Once stocks are exhausted the new 40GB model will be the only one available in the SCEE territories.

"The introduction of the 40GB model has been the result of extensive research into the entertainment needs and preferences of the next generation of PS3 owners," said David Reeves, President of SCEE. "It has allowed us to deliver an extremely advanced, yet highly affordable High Definition gaming and entertainment system, configured to the needs of the next generation of European PS3 owners. PS3 has always been the device of choice for the discerning gamer and entertainment seeker, and the new 40GB model is more than ever the perfect High Definition entertainment system."

source ps3

2007-10-04T18:37:00.000+02:00

HumanForSale.com - I am for sale!

2007-10-04T18:34:00.001+02:00

Am-I-Dumb.com - Intelligence Test

New Ps3 model coming?

2007-09-28T17:43:00.000+02:00

FCC documents show new Sony PS3 model on its way

With the slow but steady disappearance of the 60GB PlayStation 3 from store shelves, the effective entry-price for Sony’s newest console is once again $599 for the 80GB bundle. It’s unlikely that Sony will head into the holiday season at the same price point as it did last year, which is why industry analysts are predicting an upcoming price drop for the 80GB model.

Even at $499, the PlayStation 3 would still be priced well above its prime competitor – the Xbox 360 Premium at $349. Earlier this month, a report surfaced saying that Sony will introduce yet another PlayStation 3 iteration that could potentially occupy the $399 level.

The $399 model is speculated to come with a 40GB hard drive with no pack-in title. Sony would be expected to carry the 80GB model at $499 with MotorStorm or other title. Furthermore, Sony may sweeten the deal by bundling with either one or both SKUs with Spider-Man 3 on Blu-ray Disc.

A recent FCC filing by Sony may have revealed several new details about an upcoming PlayStation 3 model. Although the majority of technical details and photographs have been blocked from the public’s view at Sony’s request, the information available is able to confirm that the upcoming model – designated CECHG01 – is indeed a PlayStation 3 at the core.

Technologies described in the filing include Bluetooth, 802.11b/g WiFi, along with a number of I/O ports. The FCC report states that only two USB ports were tested (current PS3s have four ports) and there were no mention of memory card reader tests. Since the FCC is a radio test, it may not have required extensive testing of select PS3 features.

Earlier this month, Sony enlisted the help of top computer manufacturer Foxconn to manufacture low-cost PlayStation 3. The FCC filing could well be the first sign of the new product development agreement between the two companies.

source dailytech

Free Burma!

2007-09-26T19:04:00.001+02:00

How to flash psp slim without a psp phat!

2007-09-20T23:43:00.000+02:00

What do you do if you have dont have a psp phat and want to have CFW on your slim. Well you still need a Pandora battery. That you can buy on the net. google it.

if you have a pandora battery all you need is to go to this

Pandora GUI 1.5

well i dont know!?!?!

2007-09-19T19:26:00.000+02:00

Motion sensing comes to the PSP via new Plug 'n Play unofficial add-on

2007-09-17T20:55:00.001+02:00

A new motion sensing peripheral has been released for the PSP, it is super tiny Plug 'n Play add-on which suppports all original PSPs but not the new slim. Unfortunately it does not seem to work on retail games in its current form and is more aimed towards homebrew games and applications. Moreover it does not need any kind of extra power supply.

source Digg

Ironman the Movie

2007-09-17T15:11:00.000+02:00

When Tony Stark is forced to create a life support suit to keep him alive after an accident he decides to use the technology in his suit to fight crime.

cant wait to see this movie.. awesome!

PSP slim & lite pics. Hands on!

2007-09-14T16:58:00.000+02:00

Well i just got the psp slim & lite. First i got the silver one but got really surprise of the bad build quality, it were really plasticly and felt brake able, i was not really satisfied with that one so i got the black one which felt better more sturdy! And yes the black one is very shiny and attracts fingerprints and grease.

i took some pictures so you guys could check it out!

Biggest working DS ever!

2007-09-13T19:30:00.000+02:00

source

They F**** did it!!! PSP Slim Security defeated in record time - M33 PSP Custom Firmware v3.6 RELEASED!!!

2007-09-10T22:46:00.000+02:00

t didn't take Team M33 long did it now? Just FIVE days after the Official European release of the PSP Slim & Lite, M33 have released custom PSP firmware v3.6! Sony will have to try harder than that to 'protect' their system from avid homebrew fans! Please help spread the word and DIGG THIS!!!

source Maxconsole

Time to go get one!

M-33 custom firmware for psp slim/lite v.3.6 comin soon

2007-09-09T23:08:00.000+02:00

That's right, russian hackers M-33 have confirmed that a v3.6 custom firmware compatible with the PSP Slim is coming soon. The news comes days after the firmware of the new PSP slim was dumped!

source M-33

PSP slim/lite buy it from Merlin!

2007-09-07T08:15:00.000+02:00

on merlin.dk, you can buy the psp lite for the price of 1.299 danish kroners, that comes to about 238 us dollars

PSP slim/lite out in Denmark!

2007-09-05T20:25:00.000+02:00

According to Gamesection.dk the psp slim/lite is now available in game shops in Denmark! the release will be followed with 69 new psp games being released from now until December.

source